Yes folks, it seems as though I'm only writing on major holidays now but that's really not the case. I've made a commitment that in December I will write at least one a week. I say this now but in reality, will it happen? The world may never know... at least until December 31st and we can count it all up. I at least have to do one more before the end of the world so that all will know my final thoughts.
Thanksgiving was graciously hosted by our family this year and we made the most of it with 25 "adults" and 5 kids. What's with the whole "Adult Table" thing? I loved being at the kid table. We made up our own toasts for our 12 bottles of Sparkling Cider, talked about video games or boogers and pretty much partied like it's 1999. Kids these days don't know what they're missing. I'm teaching V & J the secret kid table toast so they will be able to teach their kids. It's a worthwhile investment in our children's future.
This year I surprised my parents with 3 gallons of oil and a turkey deep fryer. Yes friends DEEP FRIED TURKEY! This has scared and stunned people for years with mixed results. After much research and careful planning we succeeded in frying a 17 lb turkey to which the family insisted becomes a yearly tradition. All in all, deep frying a turkey rates on the "So Insanely Awesome to Make that Even Your Mother-In-Law is Impressed List" a 9.6. That's pretty dang good peoples. It was the best turkey that this writer has ever had.
We had too much food and not enough stomach space which, in all honesty, is what Thanksgiving is all about. Here's the recap in stunning 1080p HD:
We totally look like we know what we're doing!
I let my dad lower it in because he's lived a good life and I didn't want to die.
Success! Total Deaths: 1 really dead turkey.
Here's what 25 people in your house look like at one table.
The proverbial kid table engaging in a rousing game of Who Can Shove The Fork in Your Mouth the Farthest.
The pie is eaten and cuddle time with Mimi is all that's left to do. Good day!
The wayward journeys of the AbsoluteLees and their raucous adventures into the unknown world of child rearing. It all started with Steve the House Plant, moving towards Mil Lee the Schizophrenic House Cat, ever forward into Sophie the House Hot Dog and concluding (for now) with TWO actual House Humans.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Halloween 2012
I know what you're thinking: "Halloween? I'm already thinking about Valentines Day!" Well, Joshua, this entry is not for you. This is for the nostalgic person in all of us that likes to remember those fond yestermonth memories like celebrating your 29th birthday for the eleventy billionth time. Nostalgia is lost on some but found on others like when I'd think that we have to start listening to Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving. Then you have those who won't until December 1st. When you have kids, they want to listen to it the day after Halloween because its all over every retail establishment on the planet. So yeah, I'm listening to Christmas music as I write this action!
Halloween was actually fun this year because we had a small human as opposed to a small baby. We even got to carve a pumpkin together! We had some jack-o-lantern decorations so she chose the design and then she got to carve some of the pieces out. Tradition at our house is that Mom roasts the seeds for a snack afterwards. Let me tell you something: Mom can roast some pumpkin seeds ya'll.
This year V dressed up as Angelina Ballerina and graced everyone with her dance moves all over the place. We're pretty sure she's going to want to take dance when she's older and slightly more coordinated. Halloween this year was a success all around as there were no injuries and both of the cousins only yard saled once a piece! That's progress people. Next year, we're shooting for only one of them to eat it once. V went up to each house and said an audible "Trick or Treat?!" and then after receiving candy, said "Thank you!" Some things stick with your kid: Candy at Halloween is one of those things. Saying "Thank you" is not. We had to remind herseventy eight thousand a few times that she needed to say "Thank you" but after a while she would say it first. More progress! Below are the fabled pictures of a forgotten holiday until next October:
Pumpkin carving is hard work but rewarding because...
We get an awesome jack-o-lantern in the end!
J is in the bee costume. V is the ballerina mouse. Janis is the mother-in-law.
No mouse costume is complete without a tail.
V and Mom with her epic...costume mustache
The kids are staring at the giant pile of loot instead of the camera. Figures.
Halloween was actually fun this year because we had a small human as opposed to a small baby. We even got to carve a pumpkin together! We had some jack-o-lantern decorations so she chose the design and then she got to carve some of the pieces out. Tradition at our house is that Mom roasts the seeds for a snack afterwards. Let me tell you something: Mom can roast some pumpkin seeds ya'll.
This year V dressed up as Angelina Ballerina and graced everyone with her dance moves all over the place. We're pretty sure she's going to want to take dance when she's older and slightly more coordinated. Halloween this year was a success all around as there were no injuries and both of the cousins only yard saled once a piece! That's progress people. Next year, we're shooting for only one of them to eat it once. V went up to each house and said an audible "Trick or Treat?!" and then after receiving candy, said "Thank you!" Some things stick with your kid: Candy at Halloween is one of those things. Saying "Thank you" is not. We had to remind her
Pumpkin carving is hard work but rewarding because...
We get an awesome jack-o-lantern in the end!
J is in the bee costume. V is the ballerina mouse. Janis is the mother-in-law.
No mouse costume is complete without a tail.
V and Mom with her epic...
The kids are staring at the giant pile of loot instead of the camera. Figures.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Seven Weeks
Yes friends, that's how long we've had J in our lives and she's done something that V didn't do until she three months old. Was it brushing her gums? Projectile spit up? Not even close. She smiled. I know what you're thinking. "She totally has gas." I would've believed you a week ago but she's been smiling for days now. This new development has us thinking that if she's already a month ahead of V's timeline AND the fact that she was two weeks early: She's a child prodigy. Everyone thinks their child is insanely smarter than everyone else's, but when's the last time you saw a kid actually smile like they're having a good time AT SEVEN WEEKS? Yup, never. Told you.
This has got me thinking that if she's already smiling she should be potty trained around a year old. Also, thanks to her being born August 31st instead of September 1st, we should have no trouble getting to kid retirement early. Isn't that really everyone's goal? Even the people with 4-5 kids, they all are looking forward to one thing: Grandkids. Of course, not sooner in most cases but later. Much later in my case since mine won't be dating until they're 35.
So here are some new pictures of J in her finest moments. No smiles though, ya'll have to come back next time. Trust me, it's hard to capture smiles because that kid is a child prodigy and knows when to stop smiling because we're using a slower shutter speed. Curses modern technology! Have fun:
V: J loves me! She lets me hold her and we have so much fun!
J: Yes, as true as I wring my hands soon I will rule her world
We tried to get all the kids together for a picture. This was the best one.
Actually this was the best one.
When J wants food, she's pretty obvious about it.
I know ya'll like the cute ones so here ya go.
This has got me thinking that if she's already smiling she should be potty trained around a year old. Also, thanks to her being born August 31st instead of September 1st, we should have no trouble getting to kid retirement early. Isn't that really everyone's goal? Even the people with 4-5 kids, they all are looking forward to one thing: Grandkids. Of course, not sooner in most cases but later. Much later in my case since mine won't be dating until they're 35.
So here are some new pictures of J in her finest moments. No smiles though, ya'll have to come back next time. Trust me, it's hard to capture smiles because that kid is a child prodigy and knows when to stop smiling because we're using a slower shutter speed. Curses modern technology! Have fun:
V: J loves me! She lets me hold her and we have so much fun!
J: Yes, as true as I wring my hands soon I will rule her world
We tried to get all the kids together for a picture. This was the best one.
Actually this was the best one.
When J wants food, she's pretty obvious about it.
I know ya'll like the cute ones so here ya go.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Pumpkin Patch Visit
Last weekend was our annual pumpkin patch visit. This year we went with Evan, Ali and their new daughter Adeline. Great times were had by all as we learned (eventually) that it was probably the last nice weekend we'll have ever. Well, it feels like that anyway. Do you live here? You'd feel that way too if you did!
The pumpkin patch was very toddler orientated which worked to V's advantage. There were animals, a giant pile of hay, cider and a mini corn maze. How mini you ask? Well let's just say we let V be our guide and she took three turns and we were out. Scary... or is she the next Magellan? Hard to say but it's one of those things that we won't be able to find out until she's buying me cars and houses as the smartest woman alive. The weather treated us great and we were able to spend our last nice weekend among fun people and having great memories. V even got to pick out her own little white pumpkin for her room. It's still there to even to this day. Here's the recap in pictures:
V: So uncle Evan, you just jump on and ride down the giant hey bale.
Evan: OK then, let's do it.
V: HERE WE GO! Hey... let go I'm trying to hit terminal velocity.
Evan: Your dad might kill me if I let go.
We totally rode this bull... uh... cow. We're not sure what that was.
V & Adeline are totally Happy and Dopey.
Dad: V! Nobody's watching! Jump in the wheelbarrow!
V: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!
J is behind us in the stroller. Maybe next year she'll be in a picture!
The pumpkin patch was very toddler orientated which worked to V's advantage. There were animals, a giant pile of hay, cider and a mini corn maze. How mini you ask? Well let's just say we let V be our guide and she took three turns and we were out. Scary... or is she the next Magellan? Hard to say but it's one of those things that we won't be able to find out until she's buying me cars and houses as the smartest woman alive. The weather treated us great and we were able to spend our last nice weekend among fun people and having great memories. V even got to pick out her own little white pumpkin for her room. It's still there to even to this day. Here's the recap in pictures:
V: So uncle Evan, you just jump on and ride down the giant hey bale.
Evan: OK then, let's do it.
V: HERE WE GO! Hey... let go I'm trying to hit terminal velocity.
Evan: Your dad might kill me if I let go.
We totally rode this bull... uh... cow. We're not sure what that was.
V & Adeline are totally Happy and Dopey.
Dad: V! Nobody's watching! Jump in the wheelbarrow!
V: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!
J is behind us in the stroller. Maybe next year she'll be in a picture!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sleep Deprivation Rocks: Part Deux
It's been a while since I've posted because with two kids there are certain ramifications that happen: you sleep less, you don't get enough sleep and you become sleep deprived. After looking over all my posts from the past, I've noticed that most of them occur around the 9:00-10:00pm time frame. Back in the day, we only had one kid and it wasn't uncommon for us to hang around downstairs until all hours of the night just relaxing and reminiscing. Now we're lucky if we can stay awake until V goes to bed at 8:00.
I've also noticed that many of these posts going forward will be turning into Part Deux. There are too many similarities between children to go unnoticed. I find comfort in knowing that I won't have to go through any weird retaliation for having less posts than with the first child. This kid is totally boring compared to V. V would flail around, cry, scream and carry on all day long. J just sleeps, eats and poops. She's normal. There's nothing cool about normal. So in all fairness, here's one more round of J pics before I get bored and go back to more ACTION SHOTS with V. Don't say I didn't warn you:
At a very early age, J already knows how to blow bubbles.
Even though the shirt says it, Mom cut off the cool part.
The morning of her first trip to church and J's excited to be alive!
We have to pour ice water on her to get her to do anything.
Already practicing her stealth skills to run away from any would be dates until she's 35.
Awww... Ok... we'll keep her.
I've also noticed that many of these posts going forward will be turning into Part Deux. There are too many similarities between children to go unnoticed. I find comfort in knowing that I won't have to go through any weird retaliation for having less posts than with the first child. This kid is totally boring compared to V. V would flail around, cry, scream and carry on all day long. J just sleeps, eats and poops. She's normal. There's nothing cool about normal. So in all fairness, here's one more round of J pics before I get bored and go back to more ACTION SHOTS with V. Don't say I didn't warn you:
At a very early age, J already knows how to blow bubbles.
Even though the shirt says it, Mom cut off the cool part.
The morning of her first trip to church and J's excited to be alive!
We have to pour ice water on her to get her to do anything.
Already practicing her stealth skills to run away from any would be dates until she's 35.
Awww... Ok... we'll keep her.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Jacinda Faye Lee: 6 lb 12 oz, 19"
Well folks, it happened again. There's a couple of you out there that didn't think we'd ever do it again but we did. Once again I predicted the birth date. Let me know if you'd like me to do it for you and I'll send you a quote. It's a skill that I've honed over two kids. Upon prediction of said birth date, I 100% guarantee inaccuracy 100% of the time. Now that we've had another kid, it's time to start posting pictures of it. We can't have her feeling like she's less important or the fourth wheel now can we?
Since the rundown of events was so popular last time, here's another play-by-play that is sure to tickle your fancy in all the right ways (All times are approximate):
8/31 - 3:00 am - April wakes up because of contractions.
4:00 - The Proverbial Elbow to the Husband. I wake up and start keeping track of contractions.
5:30 - They're pretty steady at 5-6 minutes apart. We call the mothers and they come running/driving.
7:00 - April's mom says she should take a nap to prepare for this evening. She agrees and the world rejoices.
8:30 - April's up and the contractions have stopped. She freaks accordingly because at this moment my Mom is currently driving 4 hours over to watch The Kid.
9:15 - Contractions start again at a steady 5-6 minutes. We head to the park to distract V and to start walking the kid down.
11:00 - We hear Panera Bread food can make you have a kid so we go and eat. We're now at 4-5 minutes.
1:00 - We're averaging 4 minutes per contraction so we go to the Dr. and she says if they go to 3 minutes, we're having a baby. We decide to go for a walk at the park.
2:00 - After some serious park walking, April'sthe model of complete composure totally freaking out. Contractions are 3 minutes and really painful. We call the hopsicle, go pick up April's mom and drive Dukes of Hazzard style to the hopsicle.
2:45 - We're in the "You might have a baby but don't hold your breath room" checking April out to see if she can stay.
3:00 - That didn't take long. We're moved into the "We're 99% sure this is happening" room. They ask April if she wants to go "au natural" and she says "AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" This means "Yes" in Pregnant. Cue the call to the Dr.
5:00 - Contractions are steady at 2-3 minutes and getting more severe. No water break yet but she measures at 7 cm. This baby is totally coming.
5:20 - Dr. says this is going to go on too far if your water doesn't break soon. Luckily with the advent of modern technology, we can break waters without too much hassle. Dr. tells her that this is when the pain really gets crazy. Then she breaks the water
5:21 - Cue crazy pain.
5:30 - Begin pushing.
5:47 - We have liftoff! Instant baby screaming fills the halls where there was only pregnant woman screams just moments before!
Here are some pictures cataloging the moments that will stay in our lives until the ends of time. I'll be posting more soon but right now I'm falling asleep as I type. Go ahead and sleep while you can because I'm not:
She did not like the 70 armbands/belly bands/garbage on her.
Dad gets to give the first bath to her!
Great picture of us acting like we're not exhausted.
V's first holding session with J! Mimi's right there to referee.
She saluted the hopsicle on her way out the door.
Seriously... this is the cutest picture you've ever seen. Admit it.
Since the rundown of events was so popular last time, here's another play-by-play that is sure to tickle your fancy in all the right ways (All times are approximate):
8/31 - 3:00 am - April wakes up because of contractions.
4:00 - The Proverbial Elbow to the Husband. I wake up and start keeping track of contractions.
5:30 - They're pretty steady at 5-6 minutes apart. We call the mothers and they come running/driving.
7:00 - April's mom says she should take a nap to prepare for this evening. She agrees and the world rejoices.
8:30 - April's up and the contractions have stopped. She freaks accordingly because at this moment my Mom is currently driving 4 hours over to watch The Kid.
9:15 - Contractions start again at a steady 5-6 minutes. We head to the park to distract V and to start walking the kid down.
11:00 - We hear Panera Bread food can make you have a kid so we go and eat. We're now at 4-5 minutes.
1:00 - We're averaging 4 minutes per contraction so we go to the Dr. and she says if they go to 3 minutes, we're having a baby. We decide to go for a walk at the park.
2:00 - After some serious park walking, April's
2:45 - We're in the "You might have a baby but don't hold your breath room" checking April out to see if she can stay.
3:00 - That didn't take long. We're moved into the "We're 99% sure this is happening" room. They ask April if she wants to go "au natural" and she says "AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" This means "Yes" in Pregnant. Cue the call to the Dr.
5:00 - Contractions are steady at 2-3 minutes and getting more severe. No water break yet but she measures at 7 cm. This baby is totally coming.
5:20 - Dr. says this is going to go on too far if your water doesn't break soon. Luckily with the advent of modern technology, we can break waters without too much hassle. Dr. tells her that this is when the pain really gets crazy. Then she breaks the water
5:21 - Cue crazy pain.
5:30 - Begin pushing.
5:47 - We have liftoff! Instant baby screaming fills the halls where there was only pregnant woman screams just moments before!
Here are some pictures cataloging the moments that will stay in our lives until the ends of time. I'll be posting more soon but right now I'm falling asleep as I type. Go ahead and sleep while you can because I'm not:
She did not like the 70 armbands/belly bands/garbage on her.
Dad gets to give the first bath to her!
Great picture of us acting like we're not exhausted.
V's first holding session with J! Mimi's right there to referee.
She saluted the hopsicle on her way out the door.
Seriously... this is the cutest picture you've ever seen. Admit it.
Friday, August 31, 2012
An Opportune Moment: Part Deux
God knows we love Him and we're going to be extremely grateful for one year closer to kid retirement if the new kid is born today. I closed that post last time with "The nice thing is that when it does happen, it'll be in God's time and, if I'm not mistaken, at the Opportune Moment." Sounds to me like God's time is right now!
Well, we're off to the hospital to have the Kid
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Summer's Still Here
We've had some great weather the last few weeks. Even when it's been "cool" in the high 60's, we'll get some nice 70's and maybe 80's the next couple days. A week ago we had some 90's days strung together and it made it a rough time trying to sleep. About 5% of the houses in the area have central air and 100% have central heat. This causes people to do crazy things like get a hotel room 5 minutes from their house because the interior of their own home is hotter than it is outside. We had a fun time frolicking in the heat until sleep time came. Fortunately it only took V 30 minutes and about four different crying instances to get to sleep. Once she did, she slept very soundly.
With just a couple days to go (hopefully) until baby #2, we'll have a plethora of V pictures so she doesn't feel neglected when her new sister enters the real world. The great thing is that we will have two girls to grace the blog's presence when we're done. Here's the recap of things that happen while it's hot outside:
We catch rays in our incredibly spacious back yard.
We try new hot sauces outside so we can spit it out directly.
Let's practice our we love it faces!
V stares off into the distance as in an epic movie.
We practice our stinky faces when #2 goes down the tube.
This was V's first night in her new bed. Who needs covers?
With just a couple days to go (hopefully) until baby #2, we'll have a plethora of V pictures so she doesn't feel neglected when her new sister enters the real world. The great thing is that we will have two girls to grace the blog's presence when we're done. Here's the recap of things that happen while it's hot outside:
We catch rays in our incredibly spacious back yard.
We try new hot sauces outside so we can spit it out directly.
Let's practice our we love it faces!
V stares off into the distance as in an epic movie.
We practice our stinky faces when #2 goes down the tube.
This was V's first night in her new bed. Who needs covers?
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Beach House 2012
The Bi-Yearly Beach House Trip Extravaganza was a week ago and I figured now is the time to write about it since I usually wait until a month after something happens. I still write about it eventually so BACK OFF! I'm proud to say that there were no deaths at the beach house this year. Although we had our fair share of cloudy mornings, we had amazing weather all week. It was at least above the 70s every day and in the 80s on our final weekend. The 80s at Seaside? AW YEAH! Fun in the sun! The best part about this is that we get to jump in 33 degree water and then actually come out of the water to hot weather. The majority of the time it's warm or cold, so you don't even go into the water. Good weather = Good times.
We did all the fun things like going down town to see the Candy Man and we must've got at least a dozen free taffies from him. We played the "Roll the Ball Into the Holes and There'sLiterally so Much Skill Involved That Only the Most Intelligent People on the Planet Can Master It No Skill Involved" Game. I won 7 times... IN A ROW! What's up now? I'm going to go professional and see if the Olympics will pick it up. We built eleventy seven sand castles. We did all the essentials yo. It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures to recap what happened... Well, really it's just a bunch of pictures of V because we know, THAT is what you really want:
Dad: OK V, this is how you make a sand castle.
V: So you pat it like this...
V: Then you DESTROY IT!!!
V: Then you mock them mercilessly!
V: It's a new day and I think I'll be normal for a change...
V: Until I use the beach sand as a Slip & Slide®! WOO HOO!
I just included this to prove that all the kids were having a blast.
We did all the fun things like going down town to see the Candy Man and we must've got at least a dozen free taffies from him. We played the "Roll the Ball Into the Holes and There's
Dad: OK V, this is how you make a sand castle.
V: So you pat it like this...
V: Then you DESTROY IT!!!
V: Then you mock them mercilessly!
V: It's a new day and I think I'll be normal for a change...
V: Until I use the beach sand as a Slip & Slide®! WOO HOO!
I just included this to prove that all the kids were having a blast.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Good Weather = Good Times
Last week we had 80 degree weather and it felt great! The nice thing about having a two year old and hot weather is that they want to go outside every moment. The bad thing is that when it's cold, they don't understand why they can't play outside. So you send them outside and they freeze because it's cold and raining. We've noticed that V doesn't really have a cold "button" when she goes outside. She plays until shes a shaking, freezing mess. It's actually quite funny.
Yesterday I had some dental work done that was pretty much the most painful thing I've had done on my teeth since getting my wisdom teeth pulled. Thankfully the good Lord blessed us with a less than stellar weather day so I didn't feel the obligation to go outside until it warmed up. One of the worst things that can happen to a Dad on his day off with the kid is to be too sick to take advantage of it. It's not my most shining moment, but it was unavoidable with the amount of pain I was in. The Wif said that I deserve it for all the times I've worked and she's had to be home by herself. I'll keep working on her.
So we're sitting here inside on a cloudy, semi-raining day (which is pretty much par for the course around here) wondering when it'll be warm enough to go outside again. Instead of going outside, I guess we'll look at pictures of going outside when it was warmer. Aunt Karina moved to Oklahoma a couple weeks ago & here's a recap of their final summer visit before she left:
V: Tire swing for two! A great way to spend the day!
V: It's so bright out here, I can't see myself swing. Still having fun though!
V: Shades make this swing experience much better.
V: Every slide is better with a hug!
V: Aunt Karina just saw that I took my pants off. It's hot out here!
V: Preemptive goodbye wave to Aunt Karina. We love you!
Yesterday I had some dental work done that was pretty much the most painful thing I've had done on my teeth since getting my wisdom teeth pulled. Thankfully the good Lord blessed us with a less than stellar weather day so I didn't feel the obligation to go outside until it warmed up. One of the worst things that can happen to a Dad on his day off with the kid is to be too sick to take advantage of it. It's not my most shining moment, but it was unavoidable with the amount of pain I was in. The Wif said that I deserve it for all the times I've worked and she's had to be home by herself. I'll keep working on her.
So we're sitting here inside on a cloudy, semi-raining day (which is pretty much par for the course around here) wondering when it'll be warm enough to go outside again. Instead of going outside, I guess we'll look at pictures of going outside when it was warmer. Aunt Karina moved to Oklahoma a couple weeks ago & here's a recap of their final summer visit before she left:
V: Tire swing for two! A great way to spend the day!
V: It's so bright out here, I can't see myself swing. Still having fun though!
V: Shades make this swing experience much better.
V: Every slide is better with a hug!
V: Aunt Karina just saw that I took my pants off. It's hot out here!
V: Preemptive goodbye wave to Aunt Karina. We love you!
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